So day one is off to a bit of a rough start. Came home from work throwing up, but am feeling somewhat better now. At least on this Friday evening it leaves me with absolutely no temptation to drink.
In the fridge there is wine and beer. Already I can tell, that by simply just knowing I can't have alcohol, I'm going to want it even more. It's my liquid courage, my social lubricant. That's not a good thing. I mean, I see nothing wrong with drinking (in moderation of course)... however, some days I find myself drinking just to be more social, or feel more confident and that's where I see the problem. I shouldn't need a drink for these things.
I can be a shy person at time when I'm around new people and it's almost like a safety net for me to have a glass of bourbon in my hand. It's not for the reason of 'blaming the alcohol'. I'm not afraid I'm going to do something to humiliate myself. I just battle to come out of my shell during some occasions.
Anyway, I have work tomorrow morning and that combined with my earlier sessions of stomach upheaval have made day one of this journey much easier for me. The thought of this process still has me shaking in my boots though.
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